“I come in a world of iron...to make a world of gold” ― Dale Wasserman, Man of La Mancha

Friday is a writing day. At least, that is what I hear in my head constantly. One Friday goes and another comes and I am still on my blank page. If I do write something, when I read it it feels like an old snake skin — uncanny to touch yet you feel a need to peel it off. I delete more words than I type.

I am my own challenge. I am unemployed unofficially as I have realized that doing the job where you don't see perspectives is just a comfortable waste of time. Yet I still do a job I cannot resign from. You see the time passing by, you keep yourself ''very busy'' with running away from self improvement and you cure your meat for too long that it becomes so dry that you need to put a splash of extra virgin olive oil to moisturise your pallets. Chew what you have made. Chew your old dreams and ambitions because that is the last pleasure you have left.

We live in the world where to complain is understood as a way of expressing opinion. If you go to YouTube to listen to some songs, there will always be someone to dislike some videos or songs. Or someone gives one star for dining experience in the restaurant. It's popular to be negative on social networks. If you don't like it, you leave. Accept it or forget it. Even if you live in England. But hey, I am just a foreigner...

I am in my own agony. I reached the point when I need some changes. I need to wear my old shoes and walk again the same road to see what I can change. The old maple try has faded in my despair. I can only see the old wooden cross far in the horizon. Shameless loss of belief for someone who doesn't deserve your time.

So much grudge I am carrying in my chest at the moment that I cannot see properly the reality. I lost the keys of my own home. Trapped between guilt and a will to live happily ever after.

I can change I can change I can change but who you want me to be?...

Be polite, sneeze with your mouth covered, wash your hands after. Don't spread the bacteria. You are useless note on the wall. All the rules and regulations.

Your one hand seeks for emergency exit and the other one takes you back to your numbness.

Congratulations, you finally entered the world. They will tie your hands and cover your eyes. Walk straight and with no hesitation. If you stop, they will peel your skin and put you in the gas camera to slowly suffocate on your doubts.

Live fast or be alive for long.


Ieva, trying to find her old shoes.

P.S. Don't be with a person who doesn't see anything else apart from his ego. I have been consumed for too long...