"Try again. Fail again. Fail better" (Samuel Beckett)

Every time when I feel that everything falls onto my head, I keep turning around and running to a comfortable warm room with the only seat in it. Sometimes I even think that I would prefer sitting somewhere in the bus station to being tightly surrounded by four walls. At least I can observe more miserable people than me to feel better about myself... And my Lithuanian mentality strikes again!

But there is no time to relax and watch other shows when your own one is on fire. We all do have interesting lives wrapped in an irony and opportunities. Just sometimes we are too afraid of doing something, leaving our  comfortable zone. We know that insecurity is the worst enemy, but so is the comfort too. Life is full of  wooden benches, but it does not mean that you need to sit down on the every one every time you feel tired! Sometimes you have to walk without rest because someone is waiting for you at some point. If you miss that point on the right time, you might lose an opportunity.

Teach me how to fly...

And never turn around to your past because your mind is twisted. It will suggest you surreal dreams which will lead you to a deep sleep. Even though reality sometimes seems to be biting you and leaving bruises, it still is much better than believing in irrational things. I mean, sometimes it is very healthy to explore your mind's labyrinths, just it is so easy to get lost! And you have limited amount of matches too... The darkness will lead you to self destruction,which will automatically be set when you use the last match.

And now I will join my tightly planned life's schedule. It is no fun when you have to be at a certain point in a correct hour. But that is how it works: if you want to make the best apple pie you have ever made you have to grow your own apple tree.

Ieva, wishing she had more matches in her pocket.

"Happiness only real when shared" (Jon Krakauer)

Sometimes you just have to make a mistake to learn your lesson. And nothing can help with that. I am not some kind of superhero who could help my friends to change their mind. I believe I became an anti-hero (irony is my best friend). I guess I took a role of Batman; he tends to be interpreted as a good and bad guy at the same time. I need to buy a costume soon then and hide my identity!

Why do people find everything so complicated than it is? I thought we are all grown ups, but apparently we still have a kid inside screaming for vanilla ice-cream in the middle of the street. And you cannot even make him quiet because your unconscious needs are stronger than yourself.

So many times I tried question myself about the good and evil, but I eventually realised that what is better for you does not mean is better for others. So you just have to keep your opinion for yourself and drink your coffee. No sugar, please...

But I will always keep an eye on my friends. I will watch them making mistakes, but will be the first one to help them. It is just meant for us to do something wrong in lives, and that is natural. And mistakes is a natural shock therapy for us to start thinking.

I won't back down.

And I would like to thank to my lifetime (yes, we've reached a new level of friendship) friend, who has always been with me when I was making mistakes. And hopefully she will be here for ever.

Let's just not make friendships complicated, there are other things in life that bother us like whiny children everyday.

Ieva, trying to find a costume to hide her identity.

"You live alone, creating your life as you go" (Eddie Sedgwick)

Life is a long way towards the other world. Towards our liberation. Why do I call the death as liberation? It is rather arguable but I have always believed that human body is something that restricts us, our abilities and talents. But without skeleton and meat we would not be able to be seen and obviously heard. There are always two sides, and you can never be sure which side to choose; in this case it is better to use your body for self-development. Just never forget — your mind needs to sleep too!

Try to find equilibrium.

And if you sometimes feel that you have no idea why even simple questions seem to be difficult, just drown in the bohemian underwater world. Be a shark or dolphin, be whatever you want to be. And never try to fit the frame of "being normal". There is no definition of the word "normal". You are the one and only (yes, I do sound very banal!), you are walking your way alone, and there is no need to be liked by everyone. This is why you are special. Just slide through your way without much thinking. The idea how to cut the tree without a proper tool comes up eventually. Or maybe you do not have to do this? But this is a different topic, which took too long for me to find the right answer. And I am still only halfway there!

And now I am off to see the sunset of the old good Lithuanian seaside in my memories. But without sentimental feelings this time, because, as long as it stays in my mind, I will be able to recapture this moment over and over again.

Ieva, watching mysterious sunset.

"Quiet people have the loudest minds" (Stephen Hawking)

Some people say that we life for the others, some people argue that life is made for only individual achievements. Which option should we choose to finally be happy? I guess even a greatest philosopher could not tell us the answer because happiness is something that has to be found individually.

We are all different and unique. Just sometimes our personalities tend to stick with some kind of idol and lose its perfect imperfectness.

I have so many thoughts of my mind that sometimes I just get lost in the rooms of different dreams and hopes. And then I sit down in the room of emptiness and listen to silence. It is wonderful what you can hear in the silence!

Enjoy the Silence.

This is my first post  here. And my first one written in English. I think I have just reached new level of self-development, haven't I?

Writing is a part of my life. I have several notebooks and a lot of files on my laptop. It helps me to say what I would not say loudly. I can finally sort my the order of my thoughts while writing. It is like photography to me. Just photography is used more when I need to express my thoughts visually.

And now I have to go back to reality and start doing something which is compulsory for my academic achievements. I wish I wish I could just live in my rooms of endless thoughts...

"Find a balance, Ieva... Find a balance between your inner world and the reality." - a voice of the old lady keeps telling when I come over to one of the rooms in my mind's labyrinth. She is very wise and lovely. Always makes me a cup of tea while telling her exciting memories.

Ieva, enjoying the silence.